Posts
One of my ingenious peers summed things up just right this morning.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Pizza by @the_buglet
My genius chef-child is a competition winning pizza maker. This is how she does it.
Okay, so I don't like onions at all! but this pizza is the best ever!
All you have to do is saute 1 to 2 onions of your choice with any herbs you like. Id use a little more butter or Olive oil than normal- makes it so much better.
Then dice tomatoes or use canned, both are good. Mozzarella cheese, shredded, lots of it if you like a cheesy pizza like I do.
You make the pizza dough or have a pre-made one (home-made is the way to go personally)
After baking the pizza dough for a little bit, put the mozzarella on the pizza dough, top with sauteed onions and place diced tomatoes on-top, The tomatoes cook down to create the sauce.
Bake for about 20-30 mins, at the temp recommended for your crust, and enjoy.
No additional sauce required and its a easy and delicious dinner.
Bon Appetit!
Okay, so I don't like onions at all! but this pizza is the best ever!
All you have to do is saute 1 to 2 onions of your choice with any herbs you like. Id use a little more butter or Olive oil than normal- makes it so much better.
Then dice tomatoes or use canned, both are good. Mozzarella cheese, shredded, lots of it if you like a cheesy pizza like I do.
You make the pizza dough or have a pre-made one (home-made is the way to go personally)
After baking the pizza dough for a little bit, put the mozzarella on the pizza dough, top with sauteed onions and place diced tomatoes on-top, The tomatoes cook down to create the sauce.
Bake for about 20-30 mins, at the temp recommended for your crust, and enjoy.
No additional sauce required and its a easy and delicious dinner.
Bon Appetit!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
But I don't want to be the Policy Police - practical application
There have been extensive and lively conversations about HR not being the Policy Police and changing the way HR views itself. There has also been commentary in the blogosphere about the evils of lawyers telling us to not use social media for backgrounds on candidates because it will get us sued. The esteemed thought leaders Laurie Rueittmann, Kris Dunn and Mike VanDervort and many others have weighed in with there own thoughts on these topics.
Combining HR and technology – the next dilemma comes down the pike, wrapping all of these topics into one. North Carolina and 13 other states have banned texting and email while driving. President Obama has signed an executive order banning federal employees from the same practices. The North Carolina law goes into effect December 1, 2009.
So, the HR Professional gut instinct kicks in when I hear this and says “Lovely, another policy to write.” But the progressive, strategic and altogether libertarian and technology friendly idealist in me says “Wait – can we simply make an announcement that the law has been passed, and trust our adult employees to follow the law?”
The trick is the legal concept of respondeat superior – in that an employer may be held liable for injuries to a third person caused by the employee’s negligence.
So my employee is making sales calls, and he receives a text from a client. He responds while driving and in the course of his texting, is involved in an injury causing crash. His texting is found to be the cause of the accident under the new North Carolina law, and suddenly we are liable for the injuries to the person he hit.
How would you advise your senior management in regard to policy stance in this instance? Do you treat your employees as the adults they are, and expect them to follow the rules of the road? Or do you write the policy to include our beloved phrase “violation may result in discipline up to and including termination”?
Combining HR and technology – the next dilemma comes down the pike, wrapping all of these topics into one. North Carolina and 13 other states have banned texting and email while driving. President Obama has signed an executive order banning federal employees from the same practices. The North Carolina law goes into effect December 1, 2009.
So, the HR Professional gut instinct kicks in when I hear this and says “Lovely, another policy to write.” But the progressive, strategic and altogether libertarian and technology friendly idealist in me says “Wait – can we simply make an announcement that the law has been passed, and trust our adult employees to follow the law?”
The trick is the legal concept of respondeat superior – in that an employer may be held liable for injuries to a third person caused by the employee’s negligence.
So my employee is making sales calls, and he receives a text from a client. He responds while driving and in the course of his texting, is involved in an injury causing crash. His texting is found to be the cause of the accident under the new North Carolina law, and suddenly we are liable for the injuries to the person he hit.
How would you advise your senior management in regard to policy stance in this instance? Do you treat your employees as the adults they are, and expect them to follow the rules of the road? Or do you write the policy to include our beloved phrase “violation may result in discipline up to and including termination”?
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Las Acciones Hablan Mas Que Palabras
From ISRI Safety this morning....
Working safely in a multicultural environment, actions really do speak louder than words.
From John Gilstrap, Director of Safety at ISRI
Anecdotal evidence shows that in the recycling industry, Hispanic workers suffer a disproportionate share of injuries. I’ve written in this space before about the importance of communicating safety in a way that is understood by all workers, but in the past, I’ve concentrated on written and oral communication. More recently, I’ve come to realize that cultural differences play a huge role in this communication
challenge.
And when I say huge, I mean huge. Unless and until we get a handle on these differences, meaningful change is going to be slow in coming. “You have to understand Latino culture in order to train them effectively,” said Bob Ramirez, principal consultant for Ramirez Associates, a firm that specializes in helping incorporate Hispanic culture into American corporations.“If you want them to take it seriously, you need to present it seriously. In Hispanic culture, what you say means less than what you show. In Spanish, we call it ‘the big wink’.” And workers are very sensitive to it.
Born in Mexico and raised in the United States before heading back to Mexico to manage manufacturing plants, Ramirez says that the cultural differences between the two countries are startling. And it starts in childhood.
“American kids are born to be independent,” Ramirez said. “They are raised to question authority, to think on their own. In Latino cultures, we depend on our parents to take care of us, for priests to tell us what is right and wrong, and for the police to tell us what is legal and illegal.”
This cultural deference, he says, extends to the workplace as well. “A Hispanic’s worth as a man is based on how we’re perceived as workers,” Ramirez explained. “And
we’re very respectful of authority. So if the boss tells a Hispanic worker to do something, he’ll assume that it’s a safe thing to do.” Even when it’s not.
“We don’t like to say no,” Ramirez says of Latino culture. “It’s considered disrespectful. So when an American boss tells a Latino worker, ‘I need you to X, Y, and Z before you go home tonight,’ the worker is likely to agree, even when he knows that there’s a family commitment that will keep him from fulfilling his promise. He’ll consider it more respectful to tell a ‘little white lie’ than to say no.”
This is a common source of conflict between Latino workers and American managers. “In the United States, people see things in black and white,” Ramirez explains, “with a tiny area in between called the gray area.” Americans quickly lose
patience with people who dwell on the gray area. (Remember wondering what the definition of “is” was?) In Latino cultures, Ramirez explains, the perception is entirely different. “In Mexico, for example, it’s well understood that there’s yes,
no, then a wide freeway called the gray area. Everyone understands this.” What they don’t understand is why their bosses don’t understand. The white lie, they believe, is better than the insult of refusal.
Consider the all-too-common half-hearted safety training class, in which lip service is given to safety, while the real emphasis remains on production. Ramirez explains that a Latino audience culturally prewired for “the big wink.” They expect the nonverbal communication to convey the “real” meaning of what people say and weigh those cues at least as heavily as they weigh the word that are spoken. When safety equipment is provided, but there’s no emphasis on wearing it, everyone understands
that they’re expected not to use it. Come to think of it, that response is
common to all cultures. Still, there is a Latino cultural barrier to wearing safety equipment.
“In general, Hispanics believe that everything has been preordained,” Ramirez said. “If God wants you to die, you’re going to die. Therefore, what’s the use of taking steps that make you appear to be a bad worker?” Add to that the fact that the
Hispanic workforce in the United States is overall quite young, complete with the sense of indestructibility that comes with youth, and it’s easy to see why there might be resistance to hard hats and safety glasses.
In Hispanic culture, it seems that directions are in large measure negotiations. “You need to ask the question the right way,” Ramirez explained. “A fellow Hispanic supervisor might say, ‘We have this job to do, can you stay?’ and then he’ll watch for the [nonverbal] signs. The worker still might not say no,
but if he can’t stay, he’ll hem and haw, and this is the signal. The supervisor will then give him a graceful way out.” Or, if the job is really essential, the supervisor will explain the importance of staying.
I’ve said it before, folks: at the root of every unsafe act is a worker’s self-perceived best interest. When it comes to a multicultural workforce, the title of this column says it all: Actions speak louder than words.
Working safely in a multicultural environment, actions really do speak louder than words.
From John Gilstrap, Director of Safety at ISRI
Anecdotal evidence shows that in the recycling industry, Hispanic workers suffer a disproportionate share of injuries. I’ve written in this space before about the importance of communicating safety in a way that is understood by all workers, but in the past, I’ve concentrated on written and oral communication. More recently, I’ve come to realize that cultural differences play a huge role in this communication
challenge.
And when I say huge, I mean huge. Unless and until we get a handle on these differences, meaningful change is going to be slow in coming. “You have to understand Latino culture in order to train them effectively,” said Bob Ramirez, principal consultant for Ramirez Associates, a firm that specializes in helping incorporate Hispanic culture into American corporations.“If you want them to take it seriously, you need to present it seriously. In Hispanic culture, what you say means less than what you show. In Spanish, we call it ‘the big wink’.” And workers are very sensitive to it.
Born in Mexico and raised in the United States before heading back to Mexico to manage manufacturing plants, Ramirez says that the cultural differences between the two countries are startling. And it starts in childhood.
“American kids are born to be independent,” Ramirez said. “They are raised to question authority, to think on their own. In Latino cultures, we depend on our parents to take care of us, for priests to tell us what is right and wrong, and for the police to tell us what is legal and illegal.”
This cultural deference, he says, extends to the workplace as well. “A Hispanic’s worth as a man is based on how we’re perceived as workers,” Ramirez explained. “And
we’re very respectful of authority. So if the boss tells a Hispanic worker to do something, he’ll assume that it’s a safe thing to do.” Even when it’s not.
“We don’t like to say no,” Ramirez says of Latino culture. “It’s considered disrespectful. So when an American boss tells a Latino worker, ‘I need you to X, Y, and Z before you go home tonight,’ the worker is likely to agree, even when he knows that there’s a family commitment that will keep him from fulfilling his promise. He’ll consider it more respectful to tell a ‘little white lie’ than to say no.”
This is a common source of conflict between Latino workers and American managers. “In the United States, people see things in black and white,” Ramirez explains, “with a tiny area in between called the gray area.” Americans quickly lose
patience with people who dwell on the gray area. (Remember wondering what the definition of “is” was?) In Latino cultures, Ramirez explains, the perception is entirely different. “In Mexico, for example, it’s well understood that there’s yes,
no, then a wide freeway called the gray area. Everyone understands this.” What they don’t understand is why their bosses don’t understand. The white lie, they believe, is better than the insult of refusal.
Consider the all-too-common half-hearted safety training class, in which lip service is given to safety, while the real emphasis remains on production. Ramirez explains that a Latino audience culturally prewired for “the big wink.” They expect the nonverbal communication to convey the “real” meaning of what people say and weigh those cues at least as heavily as they weigh the word that are spoken. When safety equipment is provided, but there’s no emphasis on wearing it, everyone understands
that they’re expected not to use it. Come to think of it, that response is
common to all cultures. Still, there is a Latino cultural barrier to wearing safety equipment.
“In general, Hispanics believe that everything has been preordained,” Ramirez said. “If God wants you to die, you’re going to die. Therefore, what’s the use of taking steps that make you appear to be a bad worker?” Add to that the fact that the
Hispanic workforce in the United States is overall quite young, complete with the sense of indestructibility that comes with youth, and it’s easy to see why there might be resistance to hard hats and safety glasses.
In Hispanic culture, it seems that directions are in large measure negotiations. “You need to ask the question the right way,” Ramirez explained. “A fellow Hispanic supervisor might say, ‘We have this job to do, can you stay?’ and then he’ll watch for the [nonverbal] signs. The worker still might not say no,
but if he can’t stay, he’ll hem and haw, and this is the signal. The supervisor will then give him a graceful way out.” Or, if the job is really essential, the supervisor will explain the importance of staying.
I’ve said it before, folks: at the root of every unsafe act is a worker’s self-perceived best interest. When it comes to a multicultural workforce, the title of this column says it all: Actions speak louder than words.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Motivating Employees
From www.isri.org this morning - How to motivate employees in a slow economy.
Our people are our most important asset. No, they really can't be replaced by cleaper, less experienced labor in the downturn and then brought back in the upturn.
Even when times are tough financially and incentive bonuses are out of the question, we still need to find ways to encourage employees to maintain a safe and healthful workplace. Sometimes, simple recognition for a job well done is all that is needed. Here are some low-cost motivators to help keep workers in the game:
• Write a letter of commendation
• Ask employees for input/advice
• Give verbal praise
• Pass along compliments you received from others
• Write an email to a superior and copy the employee
• Put positive information in the employee’s productivity file
• Provide quick follow up on problems/hazards when recognized
• Post positive achievements on a safety bulletin board or in an employee newsletter
• Say thank you — And MEAN IT
• Allow flexible work scheduling (flextime)
• Designate special parking places
• Give out awards — e.g., plaques, trophies, certificates
• Feature an employee of the month
• Recognize peers who have helped you
• Have a coffee/juice morning to acknowledge accomplishments
• Create group awards to recognize teamwork
• Thank somebody who contributes ideas — regardless of whether you use the idea
• Always give others credit where credit is due
• ASK the employees how they want to be recognized
• Post complimentary letters on a safety bulletin board
• Send employees to special seminars and workshops that may interest them
When workers feel better about themselves, they tend to take an interest in their work and their company. This loyalty leads to longevity. Longevity leads to experience. Experience is an important element in working . . .
SAFELY, OR NOT AT ALL.
Our people are our most important asset. No, they really can't be replaced by cleaper, less experienced labor in the downturn and then brought back in the upturn.
Even when times are tough financially and incentive bonuses are out of the question, we still need to find ways to encourage employees to maintain a safe and healthful workplace. Sometimes, simple recognition for a job well done is all that is needed. Here are some low-cost motivators to help keep workers in the game:
• Write a letter of commendation
• Ask employees for input/advice
• Give verbal praise
• Pass along compliments you received from others
• Write an email to a superior and copy the employee
• Put positive information in the employee’s productivity file
• Provide quick follow up on problems/hazards when recognized
• Post positive achievements on a safety bulletin board or in an employee newsletter
• Say thank you — And MEAN IT
• Allow flexible work scheduling (flextime)
• Designate special parking places
• Give out awards — e.g., plaques, trophies, certificates
• Feature an employee of the month
• Recognize peers who have helped you
• Have a coffee/juice morning to acknowledge accomplishments
• Create group awards to recognize teamwork
• Thank somebody who contributes ideas — regardless of whether you use the idea
• Always give others credit where credit is due
• ASK the employees how they want to be recognized
• Post complimentary letters on a safety bulletin board
• Send employees to special seminars and workshops that may interest them
When workers feel better about themselves, they tend to take an interest in their work and their company. This loyalty leads to longevity. Longevity leads to experience. Experience is an important element in working . . .
SAFELY, OR NOT AT ALL.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Thoughts on a Rainy Thursday
when I really should be contemplating work... but its making me crazy.
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
- Bob Thaves
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
- Robert Orben
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
- Sophocles
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
- Bob Thaves
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
- Robert Orben
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
- Sophocles
Monday, March 9, 2009
The Dumbest Generation
The Carolina Journal did an interview with an Emory professor on his new book titled "The Dumbest Generation"...
read entire interview here
And my response is... spot on.
Education in the US is supposed to be the "best" - except as I have walked this path known as my life, I have encountered far many more well-educated people from places outside the United States.
I play trivia on a semi-regular basis. 10 years ago, the questions were arts and humanities, science and technology and the occasional 'strain your brain' sports trivia question. These contests have morphed into battles of who remembers the lyrics to the last Coldplay CD, track 6. WTF?
Our technological advancements have made us a society of "information now" - with a smattering of "short attention span theater". My daughter has gone through more cell phones, CD players, MP3 players, computers and other gadgets than I've ever owned in my entire life.
Bauerlein comments "If you really want to punish a 17-year-old, all you have to do is say, “Go outside and play, and leave your cell phone and Blackberry at home.” That is exile. That is banishment for them. That underscores the power of these tools. "
I can attest to this fact when raising my own child.
And the sad fact is that I have been given similar chidings from my own less "wired in" friends. I can google an answer to a question no matter where I am (including my favorite secluded hiking spots) I get email and texts on the trail. But the thing I have learned to do is to TURN IT OFF. There is nothing in my world that says I need to be accessible 24/7. None of us do.
So, how do we reintroduce our next generation to the non-technological world? The world of the outdoors, the world of books, the world where Twitter following doesn't exist. The world where we are educated beyond our computers. So much knowledge is being lost in the digital age, where the latest blog opines are taken as fact. Where undocumented sources are gods... (an undocumented source used to be called conjecture or opinion)
Don't get me wrong, I am wired in... more than I want to be, and as much as I need to be.
But I think the EMF has begun to melt my brain.
read entire interview here
And my response is... spot on.
Education in the US is supposed to be the "best" - except as I have walked this path known as my life, I have encountered far many more well-educated people from places outside the United States.
I play trivia on a semi-regular basis. 10 years ago, the questions were arts and humanities, science and technology and the occasional 'strain your brain' sports trivia question. These contests have morphed into battles of who remembers the lyrics to the last Coldplay CD, track 6. WTF?
Our technological advancements have made us a society of "information now" - with a smattering of "short attention span theater". My daughter has gone through more cell phones, CD players, MP3 players, computers and other gadgets than I've ever owned in my entire life.
Bauerlein comments "If you really want to punish a 17-year-old, all you have to do is say, “Go outside and play, and leave your cell phone and Blackberry at home.” That is exile. That is banishment for them. That underscores the power of these tools. "
I can attest to this fact when raising my own child.
And the sad fact is that I have been given similar chidings from my own less "wired in" friends. I can google an answer to a question no matter where I am (including my favorite secluded hiking spots) I get email and texts on the trail. But the thing I have learned to do is to TURN IT OFF. There is nothing in my world that says I need to be accessible 24/7. None of us do.
So, how do we reintroduce our next generation to the non-technological world? The world of the outdoors, the world of books, the world where Twitter following doesn't exist. The world where we are educated beyond our computers. So much knowledge is being lost in the digital age, where the latest blog opines are taken as fact. Where undocumented sources are gods... (an undocumented source used to be called conjecture or opinion)
Don't get me wrong, I am wired in... more than I want to be, and as much as I need to be.
But I think the EMF has begun to melt my brain.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Random thoughts for Today
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
- Scott Adams
- Scott Adams
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
- Fran Lebowitz
stewing on the more mundane things this evening....
- Fran Lebowitz
stewing on the more mundane things this evening....
Saturday, February 21, 2009
This is why we should Stop and Listen
Joshua Bell played his $3.5 million dollar violin (the 1713 Gibson ex Huberman Stradivarius) in the metro station in Washington DC. Very few people stopped to listen, and he pocketed $32 from his violin case during his 45 minute performance. This was a Washington Post experiment in 2007.
A world renowned violinist played for the people of DC, for free... and no one payed attention, because there was no media hype about who, and where, and why. We did not simply stop and listen to beautiful music.
And we wonder why our country seems to be going to hell in a handbasket.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Enhancement in an Overachieving World
I watched A-Rod yesterday, (Alex Rodriguez, the baseball player, for readers currently emerging from rocks) and he admitted to trying something that might have been a performance enhancing drug, if he used it properly, which he's not sure he did, sometime in 2001-2003. There has been a swirl of controversy about the issue of performance enhancers in general, including a book written by an old friend, Will Carroll. (shameless plug)
And the controversy continues into our schools and workplaces. We medicate our children with a class 2 controlled substance to get them to focus and behave in school. Those kids will readily admit it enhances their ability to concentrate, and when they are not on the drug, their performance suffers. So we are enhancing the children's ability to absorb information and pass tests. At what point did an entire generation of American children lose the inability to focus? We now diagnose adults with ADD and ADHD and give them Ritalin and Adderall. So they can focus and concentrate and perform at a higher level. And we now have an entire segment of the population that is on performance enhancing chemicals. Shall we get started on the anti-depressants?
But what society are we creating? It started out that all the ADD/ADHD kids were considered "possessing a disability", and schools were given federal funds based on that. However, I could probably walk into my local elementary/middle/high school to find that the vast majority of kids were on Ritilin, Adderall or some variation. So who has the disability now? I'm guessing the kids who don't have the performance enhancing drugs at their disposal.
Because these drugs do in fact work, there is now a large a black market for them. College campuses are rampant with the stuff. What I wouldn't have done in college to have the ability to take a pill and remain alert through an important lecture after pulling an all nighter to finish a paper.... Everybody wants an edge, don't they??!
Our workplace is suffering the same fate with performance enhancers and mood stabilizers. Use of these drugs by adults in the workplace is opening up some interesting issues. Will I be held accountable because I'm not on a performance enhancing or mood altering drug like everyone else? In other words, because I don't think 10 steps ahead, or I happen to be sad over a breakup? Is that the path we are on? A world where to compete means you must medicate?
They say Better Living through Chemistry. But is it? Is it that important to think so quickly that you miss seeing the world around you? Are we forgetting how to live in the process of moving from milestone to milestone?
So if we want to get the most out of our achievements, we are going to use every competitive advantage we've got. And for many in our society, that means Ritalin, Adderall, or Provigil (a drug used to treat narcolepsy and sleep apnea) or mood stabilizers and anti-depressants. It seems we are going to lose the ability to stabilize our own moods or focus out minds on a task if we rely on chemicals to do it for us. (And why, perhaps, are we losing the ability to do that as a society?)
And to get back to our performance enhancing friends in MLB, and other sports....
If its acceptable to use drugs to compete with our brains, why isn't it acceptable to use them to compete with our bodies? And if its NOT acceptable, what should we do about it?
And the controversy continues into our schools and workplaces. We medicate our children with a class 2 controlled substance to get them to focus and behave in school. Those kids will readily admit it enhances their ability to concentrate, and when they are not on the drug, their performance suffers. So we are enhancing the children's ability to absorb information and pass tests. At what point did an entire generation of American children lose the inability to focus? We now diagnose adults with ADD and ADHD and give them Ritalin and Adderall. So they can focus and concentrate and perform at a higher level. And we now have an entire segment of the population that is on performance enhancing chemicals. Shall we get started on the anti-depressants?
But what society are we creating? It started out that all the ADD/ADHD kids were considered "possessing a disability", and schools were given federal funds based on that. However, I could probably walk into my local elementary/middle/high school to find that the vast majority of kids were on Ritilin, Adderall or some variation. So who has the disability now? I'm guessing the kids who don't have the performance enhancing drugs at their disposal.
Because these drugs do in fact work, there is now a large a black market for them. College campuses are rampant with the stuff. What I wouldn't have done in college to have the ability to take a pill and remain alert through an important lecture after pulling an all nighter to finish a paper.... Everybody wants an edge, don't they??!
Our workplace is suffering the same fate with performance enhancers and mood stabilizers. Use of these drugs by adults in the workplace is opening up some interesting issues. Will I be held accountable because I'm not on a performance enhancing or mood altering drug like everyone else? In other words, because I don't think 10 steps ahead, or I happen to be sad over a breakup? Is that the path we are on? A world where to compete means you must medicate?
They say Better Living through Chemistry. But is it? Is it that important to think so quickly that you miss seeing the world around you? Are we forgetting how to live in the process of moving from milestone to milestone?
So if we want to get the most out of our achievements, we are going to use every competitive advantage we've got. And for many in our society, that means Ritalin, Adderall, or Provigil (a drug used to treat narcolepsy and sleep apnea) or mood stabilizers and anti-depressants. It seems we are going to lose the ability to stabilize our own moods or focus out minds on a task if we rely on chemicals to do it for us. (And why, perhaps, are we losing the ability to do that as a society?)
And to get back to our performance enhancing friends in MLB, and other sports....
If its acceptable to use drugs to compete with our brains, why isn't it acceptable to use them to compete with our bodies? And if its NOT acceptable, what should we do about it?
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas Insanity
In true Sthrngal tradition, Christmas was off and running with all of the antics that have become part and parcel to our holidays.
Christmas Eve started with a mad dash to the Big Red Circle for last minute cards and gifts, as well as the assorted "dammit, I just HAD to run out of this TODAY, didn't I?" crapola. Well over an hour, $150 dollars, and one relatively satisfied Munchkin later (she manages to talk me into buying the strangest things) I was escaping that nuthouse so that I could enter an even more insane building.... the local gourmet grocery store, 2 hours before closing for the holiday.
Yes, I do believe a competent psychiatrist could have easily had me involuntarily committed just for CONSIDERING this act.
Another $120 dollars later, I had purchased all the edibles necessary for a lovely Christmas Eve feast.
Once home, we prepared it in haste (because in true fashion, once again, I was running late, and was expecting a guest)
We pulled it off, in the nick of time, everyone clean and polished and of course, WAY too much food for just this small group. Why do we do this to ourselves? We will be eating this crap for weeks... except we don't have weeks, we have A week, before the Grand Adventure begins.
Let me just flush that cash - because in the end, it was too much effort, too much money.
But it was REALLY good wine!
Christmas Eve started with a mad dash to the Big Red Circle for last minute cards and gifts, as well as the assorted "dammit, I just HAD to run out of this TODAY, didn't I?" crapola. Well over an hour, $150 dollars, and one relatively satisfied Munchkin later (she manages to talk me into buying the strangest things) I was escaping that nuthouse so that I could enter an even more insane building.... the local gourmet grocery store, 2 hours before closing for the holiday.
Yes, I do believe a competent psychiatrist could have easily had me involuntarily committed just for CONSIDERING this act.
Another $120 dollars later, I had purchased all the edibles necessary for a lovely Christmas Eve feast.
Once home, we prepared it in haste (because in true fashion, once again, I was running late, and was expecting a guest)
We pulled it off, in the nick of time, everyone clean and polished and of course, WAY too much food for just this small group. Why do we do this to ourselves? We will be eating this crap for weeks... except we don't have weeks, we have A week, before the Grand Adventure begins.
Let me just flush that cash - because in the end, it was too much effort, too much money.
But it was REALLY good wine!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I remember this feeling
"Love is friendship caught fire; it is a quiet, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection, and makes allowances for human weaknesses. Love is content with the present, hopes for the future, and does not brood over the past. It is the day-in and day-out chronicles of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories, and working toward common goals. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you do not have it, no matter what else there is, it is not enough." ~Laura Hendricks
I remember it.
It will be that way again.
When the time is right.
I remember it.
It will be that way again.
When the time is right.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Giving Thanks
Sometimes life throws a bunch of curveballs at you at an accelerated rate.
This year I've lost my job, moved to a new state, camped out with my Mother for several months, and now, faced the end of a relationship - one where Mason admits that I didn't do anything wrong, he's just not feeling it. How's that for rejection at the most basic level.
This combination of things makes it difficult to be thankful. I'm not self-supporting at the moment, I have to return to sharing living space with my mother, the car needs about $1000 worth of work, and I will, for the 4th year running, be spending the holidays without a partner. (and I really thought this relationship was going to work, goes to show what the hell I know.)
But I'm suspending the pity party for a later date.
This year I am thankful for:
My beautiful daughter, and the relationship we have developed as she reaches adulthood.
My mother, that she's healthy and that she's willing to put up with me in a time of need (the first time in my adult life I have ever had to ask her to do something like this, so maybe I've been more successful than some of my generational contemporaries) and that on most days, we get along like friends, instead of relatives.
My health - it's more or less back to where it needs to be. (at least those pesky Navy docs have said I'm "good to go")
My friends, they are just a few, and they are far away - but they have tolerated my complete flakiness over the last year, and still apparently love me anyway.
My best buddy - His royal pussness is still with me, after 10 years, three moves, and the loss of all of his feline companions.
And I am thankful for this relationship, I'm not sure what lesson I will take from this one, it hasn't become clear... but I am thankful to have had someone come into my life, another person I love, and who will always have a space in my heart. I know that I will find the person who wants me, for who I am. The person who fires on all cylinders for me.
But I am thankful to have had him in my life, even if it turned out to be for a shorter time than I expected.
So, today, I am thankful. Because it could be worse.
This year I've lost my job, moved to a new state, camped out with my Mother for several months, and now, faced the end of a relationship - one where Mason admits that I didn't do anything wrong, he's just not feeling it. How's that for rejection at the most basic level.
This combination of things makes it difficult to be thankful. I'm not self-supporting at the moment, I have to return to sharing living space with my mother, the car needs about $1000 worth of work, and I will, for the 4th year running, be spending the holidays without a partner. (and I really thought this relationship was going to work, goes to show what the hell I know.)
But I'm suspending the pity party for a later date.
This year I am thankful for:
My beautiful daughter, and the relationship we have developed as she reaches adulthood.
My mother, that she's healthy and that she's willing to put up with me in a time of need (the first time in my adult life I have ever had to ask her to do something like this, so maybe I've been more successful than some of my generational contemporaries) and that on most days, we get along like friends, instead of relatives.
My health - it's more or less back to where it needs to be. (at least those pesky Navy docs have said I'm "good to go")
My friends, they are just a few, and they are far away - but they have tolerated my complete flakiness over the last year, and still apparently love me anyway.
My best buddy - His royal pussness is still with me, after 10 years, three moves, and the loss of all of his feline companions.
And I am thankful for this relationship, I'm not sure what lesson I will take from this one, it hasn't become clear... but I am thankful to have had someone come into my life, another person I love, and who will always have a space in my heart. I know that I will find the person who wants me, for who I am. The person who fires on all cylinders for me.
But I am thankful to have had him in my life, even if it turned out to be for a shorter time than I expected.
So, today, I am thankful. Because it could be worse.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The Jones View
I found this post while procrastinating a project...
It just resonated. And reminds me that I should dust myself off and go have some fun at Six Flags in the Spring, because life is short!
It just resonated. And reminds me that I should dust myself off and go have some fun at Six Flags in the Spring, because life is short!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
From a Woman Older and Wiser than Myself, apparently
Everyone needs someone to love and be loved by in this world. There are times when we focus on one particular individual as the only one who can fulfill that love. I know the feeling too.
The reality is that love is a fluid emotion that travels between people. People we once loved become people we can't wait to get away from and vice versa. It ebbs and flows. If you could look at love as something that is eternal and around us in many different forms, it may help you to pull your focus away from a person who, for whatever reason, isn't able to be there for you in the way that you want.
I remember many times in my life when I thought I would die if I didn't have the love of that one person. Yet, here I am, still breathing in those oxygen molecules.
I had to endure a lot of emotional pain between loves. The ones that got away. The ones that didn't want me like I wanted them. That is why we are survivors. Hope will get you through this time. The certainty that you will survive this and go on to find your meaning. We are all worthy of love. We just need to find the love that is worthy of us.
The reality is that love is a fluid emotion that travels between people. People we once loved become people we can't wait to get away from and vice versa. It ebbs and flows. If you could look at love as something that is eternal and around us in many different forms, it may help you to pull your focus away from a person who, for whatever reason, isn't able to be there for you in the way that you want.
I remember many times in my life when I thought I would die if I didn't have the love of that one person. Yet, here I am, still breathing in those oxygen molecules.
I had to endure a lot of emotional pain between loves. The ones that got away. The ones that didn't want me like I wanted them. That is why we are survivors. Hope will get you through this time. The certainty that you will survive this and go on to find your meaning. We are all worthy of love. We just need to find the love that is worthy of us.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
We Can Do Better than THIS
The Virginia House of Delegates and the Virginia War Memorial Commission are embarrassing me. Embarrassing enough that I actually got off my comfortable arse and did something about it. (see my previous post if you can't figure out why I'm less slug-like on issues these days)
Now, I'm asking for your help.
read the article
If you have the time, or even if you don't... whichever side of the politics you are on with the war, this is about our service members, not about politics...
On the heels of the Marine Corps Birthday, and Veteran's Day... I can't believe we could be so short sighted and wrapped up in bureaucracy. Ok, maybe I can.
~loud irish sigh~
Please speak out about this.
Our service members deserve better from the Commonwealth of Virginia.
To save you having to look up all the names on the War Memorial Commission... (it took me a few hours to find them), you can get them straight from the email below. Some of the members were not re-elected this year, but the ones I could locate got the email.
Governor Kaine was sent in separately, via the website form.
The Governor's Website
You'll want to add your delegates and state senator to the list, and your local paper, if you have the inclination.
House of Delegates
State Senators
Please join me in an effort to fix this. Only WE can stop the insanity (or stupidity, as the case may be)
Virginia War Memorial Foundation Members
The Honorable William K. Barlow
The Honorable J. Brandon Bell, II
Mr. Dale D. Chapman, Adjutant
The Honorable John S. Edwards
The Honorable Frank D. Hargrove, Sr.
Mr. John Harper, Jr.
RDML John Hekman, USN (Ret.)
BG Bert Wellington Holmes, Jr., M.D.
The Honorable William R. Janis
The Honorable L. Scott Lingamfelter
RADM John L. Marocchi, USN (Ret.)
BG John W. “Jack” Nicholson, USA (Ret.)
Mr. Roger L. Overstreet
The Honorable Melanie L. Rapp
The Honorable D. Nick Rerras
COL E. Phillip Russell
Mr. S. Judson Stanley
BG Wilma L. Vaught, USAF (Ret.)
---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Wed, Nov 12, 2008 at 12:25 PM
Subject: Lance Corporal Darrell Schumann, USMC, deceased
Date: Wed, Nov 12, 2008 at 12:25 PM
Subject: Lance Corporal Darrell Schumann, USMC, deceased
To: DelCAthey@house.state.va.us, DelEScott@house.state.va.us, DelSLingamfelter@house.state.va.us , DelWBarlow@house.state.va.us, DelRBell@house.state.va.us, DelFHargrove@house.state.va.us, DelBJanis@house.state.va.us, district27@sov.state.va.us, district21@sov.state.va.us, eeccleston@valegion.org, info@dvs.virginia.gov, president@womensmemorial.org, letters@timesdispatch.com
I am writing to you today because a great disservice has been done to an honorable member of our Armed Services.
This Marine died in Iraq, serving our country in this war. He was killed when the helicopter he was traveling in was downed during a sandstorm. This was the Marine Corps largest single loss of life in theater thus far.
According to the "guidelines" for the Virginia War Memorial in Richmond, based on statements from Delegate Frank Hargrove, to the Virginian-Pilot and reported on Military.com today, this Marine's name will not be added, because he was not killed in action or as a hostile casualty.
I have to ask this question. Why are we limiting the honor we bestow on the men and women who die in service to their country? What logical reason is there to exclude any service member killed on active duty?
It is very simple to exclude any member who died under circumstances deemed unbecoming by their branch of service (or where the military life insurance wouldn't pay out, therefore making them ineligible for the honor)
But this young man died in theater, he is buried at Arlington. He should be honored on that wall. I am ashamed that Delegate Hargrove would suggest to Lcpl. Schumann's father that he get his son's death reclassified in order to have his name put on the wall. This is a bad guideline which can be easily changed, no family member should have to navigate a DOD landmine like Mr. Hargrove suggests in order to get this rightfully deserved honor from Virginia. We should be falling all over ourselves to honor this young man's sacrifice.
My service during the first Gulf War was no less important to the mission than the supply clerk in the reserve battalion in New York. This Marine survived Fallujah, and his service was no less than the Marines killed in Fallujah.I am writing to you today because a great disservice has been done to an honorable member of our Armed Services.
This Marine died in Iraq, serving our country in this war. He was killed when the helicopter he was traveling in was downed during a sandstorm. This was the Marine Corps largest single loss of life in theater thus far.
According to the "guidelines" for the Virginia War Memorial in Richmond, based on statements from Delegate Frank Hargrove, to the Virginian-Pilot and reported on Military.com today, this Marine's name will not be added, because he was not killed in action or as a hostile casualty.
I have to ask this question. Why are we limiting the honor we bestow on the men and women who die in service to their country? What logical reason is there to exclude any service member killed on active duty?
It is very simple to exclude any member who died under circumstances deemed unbecoming by their branch of service (or where the military life insurance wouldn't pay out, therefore making them ineligible for the honor)
But this young man died in theater, he is buried at Arlington. He should be honored on that wall. I am ashamed that Delegate Hargrove would suggest to Lcpl. Schumann's father that he get his son's death reclassified in order to have his name put on the wall. This is a bad guideline which can be easily changed, no family member should have to navigate a DOD landmine like Mr. Hargrove suggests in order to get this rightfully deserved honor from Virginia. We should be falling all over ourselves to honor this young man's sacrifice.
If the memorial wall is designed to honor those Virginian's who gave their lives in service of their country during the course of the war, who are we, as Virginians, to decide that a location, or a mission is any more or less important? My fellow Marines killed in helicopter crashes at Camp Pendleton, or Camp Lejeune, or Fallujah didn't give their lives any less honorably.
Our proud tradition of military service and sacrifice in Virginia deserves more.
(edited for anonymity on this blog)
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Post Election Hangover
Mason and I sat last night, flipping through the talking heads, watching the election like the rest of the planet. (and for the first time ever, I think that the euphemism wasn't a euphemism, it was actually true)
We were partaking of some good wine, after an amazing dinner, prepared by Mason (omg, the man can cook - in a "why aren't you a chef?" sort of way) and as the returns came in, I started thinking.
This act, in and of itself, while drinking wine, always lands me in an awkward philosophical place that I probably shouldn't be in.
But I watched with amazement as we elected our 44th President. An educated, articulate man, unlike any man we've elected before. A man that was not WASP. The closest we ever came before was JFK, and the only reason many didn't like him was (GASP) he was Catholic.
This man was elected by a clear majority of this country, a clear majority that is going to expect a LOT from him. (ie. fix everything, now....) I think Obama was smart to begin this journey with the caveat that it is going to take work, much work, and not just from him, to take our country to the next level. We have a vested interest in what the eventual outcome will be. We need to step up, as a nation, and fix the problems we are facing. This is a republic, by the people - which means, if you really think about it, that we have noone to blame for the bullshit we are dealing with, except ourselves. This is the message I have taken from President-Elect Obama... I have to get off my comfortable arse and get involved.
So, what are you going to do for your country?
On another note....
In the same breath that announced President-Elect Barack Obama (the skinny kid with the funny name), 3 states decided that their constitutions should ban marriage between same-sex couples. We elected a black President in what many pundits are saying was a "race blind" election (based on the fact that pick a demographic, any demographic, and they voted for him, with the obvious exception of the white evangelical anything) and yet, in the SAME DAMNED ELECTION we were okay with taking rights away from US citizens.
I don't care what your opinion of the homosexual community is - why do you care what they do? How does it affect your life? We, as a nation, have said the same crap about women, blacks, Irish, Jews, latinos.... why are they less than? I can guarantee that at least 10% of the men that signed the Constitution were gay.
I defended a constitution in which it says "all men (cough) are created equal" - what friggin part of equal did someone miss?
US citizens are US citizens - we are all equal. There is no "except".
We were partaking of some good wine, after an amazing dinner, prepared by Mason (omg, the man can cook - in a "why aren't you a chef?" sort of way) and as the returns came in, I started thinking.
This act, in and of itself, while drinking wine, always lands me in an awkward philosophical place that I probably shouldn't be in.
But I watched with amazement as we elected our 44th President. An educated, articulate man, unlike any man we've elected before. A man that was not WASP. The closest we ever came before was JFK, and the only reason many didn't like him was (GASP) he was Catholic.
This man was elected by a clear majority of this country, a clear majority that is going to expect a LOT from him. (ie. fix everything, now....) I think Obama was smart to begin this journey with the caveat that it is going to take work, much work, and not just from him, to take our country to the next level. We have a vested interest in what the eventual outcome will be. We need to step up, as a nation, and fix the problems we are facing. This is a republic, by the people - which means, if you really think about it, that we have noone to blame for the bullshit we are dealing with, except ourselves. This is the message I have taken from President-Elect Obama... I have to get off my comfortable arse and get involved.
So, what are you going to do for your country?
On another note....
In the same breath that announced President-Elect Barack Obama (the skinny kid with the funny name), 3 states decided that their constitutions should ban marriage between same-sex couples. We elected a black President in what many pundits are saying was a "race blind" election (based on the fact that pick a demographic, any demographic, and they voted for him, with the obvious exception of the white evangelical anything) and yet, in the SAME DAMNED ELECTION we were okay with taking rights away from US citizens.
I don't care what your opinion of the homosexual community is - why do you care what they do? How does it affect your life? We, as a nation, have said the same crap about women, blacks, Irish, Jews, latinos.... why are they less than? I can guarantee that at least 10% of the men that signed the Constitution were gay.
I defended a constitution in which it says "all men (cough) are created equal" - what friggin part of equal did someone miss?
US citizens are US citizens - we are all equal. There is no "except".
Friday, October 31, 2008
FaceSpace and the art of Sharing too Much
"So, here’s my question to the world: should a parent be a Facebook friend to their child in college? Should they want to? Or, as HJB tells me, ‘just trust that they will figure out the things that they need to learn, just like you did in college. AND stop looking at her Facebook!” I KNOW this. I say these things to myself actually but the fact that other people have access to my child’s site and I don’t and that I have reason to believe that they are sharing themselves with the world in ways that isn’t a good idea still bother me. If you see what your college age child has on Facebook, do you talk to them about it?"
~from another blogsite
I do believe this will be the generation with the most documentation on their actions, ever. They take cameras everywhere, and they post those pictures for ALL the world to see. The kids are free and open with their communication about, to and with each other.
~from another blogsite
I do believe this will be the generation with the most documentation on their actions, ever. They take cameras everywhere, and they post those pictures for ALL the world to see. The kids are free and open with their communication about, to and with each other.
In a year, when Bug wants that prestigeous internship with Chef "I'm better than you", He's going to be looking at MySpace and Facebook, and whereever else he googles her from, to see if she's responsible enough to work in HIS kitchens.
I am friends with my Bug (my college age child) on any site she's on. - and I have made a few comments, but not many. Mostly its in the name of protecting her REPUTATION, and I do try not to comment on her activities. I was in the Armed Forces overseas at a young age, so I know what trouble is, but we were cognizant enough not to document the insanity.
I do believe I have a responsiblity to point out that she's damaging her future, but I can't MAKE her change her bevavior, and if that is her choice, they are also her consequences. (one of the hardest life lessons I have to teach my Bug)
It would upset me if she blocked me. But I'd see that as a sign that maybe my approach to communication wasn't working, and I needed to find another route. But it's an excellent question... in an age where our children are broadcasting their lives for everyone in the world to see (including scary stalkers, perspective dates, employers and random assholes on the internet) Why is it that we, as parents, are left out? It's okay for Bug, myself or anyone else, to publish any random thought on the net, but it's not okay for us to sit down and discuss the things that are out there for public consumption?
My mama always told me that the best way to keep a secret was to tell NOONE. And if I didn't want my private life made public, I needed to keep it private... I post a blog, but I make certain that anything I post won't embarrass me, or anyone I love if they were to happen to stumble upon it. That's one of the reasons very few people I know IRL know this blog exists, but I'm still excrutiatingly careful about what I post.
Where is the answer to this one?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
We have No Control
From the local newspaper close to the Mason-Dixon:
Local teens killed in crash
Two local teenagers were killed in a single-vehicle accident on Meetze Road Wednesday night, according to state police.
Virginia State Police Sgt. Les Tyler said the wreck occurred just east of Turkey Run Road at approximately 9:40 p.m.
Brian Michael Jacobsen, 17, of Nokesville was driving a 2005 Ford Taurus eastbound on Meetze Road when he entered a sharp right hand curve. The vehicle went off the left side of the road and Jacobsen over-corrected, Tyler said. The Taurus then went off the road to the right where it struck an embankment, struck a tree and overturned, the sergeant added.
Jacobsen and a passenger, Eric Richard Unger, 18, of Warrenton, both died at the scene from injuries sustained in the wreck, Tyler said.
Both teens were reportedly wearing their seatbelts. However, Tyler said the speed limit in the area is 50 mph, and the “maximum safe speed” entering the curve is 45 mph.
“We feel excessive speed is the main causative factor [in the accident],” Tyler said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I knew this young man - Eric's sister hung out at my house more weekends than I can count for a few years. She and my Bug were "bff's" (for as long as that lasts with teenage girls) In fact, when I sent the Bug off to spread her wings, Eric's mother and sister were there at the Big Confusing Airport to watch me cry.
This was a good kid. His parents did everything they could to instill in him how to make GOOD decisions, and I think he worked pretty hard keeping up his end of the bargain. Eric will be missed by many people in the county. My heart goes out to his family, and that of the other young man killed Wednesday night. I can't even begin to imagine getting that knock on the door. We have no control over our kids after a certain age. We can't keep them safe, we can't protect them. We just have to let them go. And in this case, the Unger family did all they could and sometimes SHIT just happens. That's the part of life that sucks. This young man had a good life ahead of him, and it ended all too soon.
When Bug called to tell me about this, all I could do was tell her I loved her.
There, but for the grace of the gods, go I.
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