FaceSpace and the art of Sharing too Much

"So, here’s my question to the world: should a parent be a Facebook friend to their child in college? Should they want to? Or, as HJB tells me, ‘just trust that they will figure out the things that they need to learn, just like you did in college. AND stop looking at her Facebook!” I KNOW this. I say these things to myself actually but the fact that other people have access to my child’s site and I don’t and that I have reason to believe that they are sharing themselves with the world in ways that isn’t a good idea still bother me. If you see what your college age child has on Facebook, do you talk to them about it?"

~from another blogsite

I do believe this will be the generation with the most documentation on their actions, ever. They take cameras everywhere, and they post those pictures for ALL the world to see. The kids are free and open with their communication about, to and with each other.

In a year, when Bug wants that prestigeous internship with Chef "I'm better than you", He's going to be looking at MySpace and Facebook, and whereever else he googles her from, to see if she's responsible enough to work in HIS kitchens.

I am friends with my Bug (my college age child) on any site she's on. - and I have made a few comments, but not many. Mostly its in the name of protecting her REPUTATION, and I do try not to comment on her activities. I was in the Armed Forces overseas at a young age, so I know what trouble is, but we were cognizant enough not to document the insanity.

I do believe I have a responsiblity to point out that she's damaging her future, but I can't MAKE her change her bevavior, and if that is her choice, they are also her consequences. (one of the hardest life lessons I have to teach my Bug)

It would upset me if she blocked me. But I'd see that as a sign that maybe my approach to communication wasn't working, and I needed to find another route. But it's an excellent question... in an age where our children are broadcasting their lives for everyone in the world to see (including scary stalkers, perspective dates, employers and random assholes on the internet) Why is it that we, as parents, are left out? It's okay for Bug, myself or anyone else, to publish any random thought on the net, but it's not okay for us to sit down and discuss the things that are out there for public consumption?

My mama always told me that the best way to keep a secret was to tell NOONE. And if I didn't want my private life made public, I needed to keep it private... I post a blog, but I make certain that anything I post won't embarrass me, or anyone I love if they were to happen to stumble upon it. That's one of the reasons very few people I know IRL know this blog exists, but I'm still excrutiatingly careful about what I post.

Where is the answer to this one?